These are my predictions for the top trends in 2016. Some could be real, some could be tongue in cheek, some could be both; I'll let you decide.
1.Bulletproof Tibetan Tea
Bulletproof coffee is so 2012. This year Tibetan Tea will be big. Yep, if butter is good for you, then Yaks butter must be better, plus you are getting all the health benefits of tea. And if that wasn't enough the added salt will help with your electrolyte balance post workout. Lastly, you will be helping to support local Yak herders, bonus!
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| Tibetan beverage: Tea, Yaks Butter & Salt. What's not to like. Image source www.fitfoodhouse.net |
What could be better than Tibetan tea? This Super Chai Tea recipe that I have just invented.
Super Chai Tea (Bulletproof Monk tea)
1 teaspoon of Matcha green tea (if not available PG Tips pyramid bags will do fine)
25ml of MCT Oil (if you can't find this, organic Yaks Milk or butter is a good substitute)
1/2 teaspoon of turmeric
Sprinkle of cinnamon
Stevia or locally sourced raw honey to taste.
Brew the Matcha green tea in the traditional way, then blend in the MCT Oil/ Yaks milk/ butter and turmeric. Sprinkle cinnamon on top, add in stevia or honey if you like it sweet.
This brew packs a powerful punch. There is the antioxidant, tumour fighting, thermogenic tea mixed with antiviral fat based fuel of the MCT oil/ Yaks milk. Add in the anti-inflammatory turmeric, and the insulin modulating cinnamon, making this the ideal breakfast concoction.
Please note I just made this recipe up but I have refused to google it just in case someone is actually drinking this stuff for real.
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| By drinking Bulletproof Monk tea you are supporting your local Yak Herder |
2.Mindful everything
2015 was the year of mindfulness. Eating food mindfully, mindful breathing, mindful corporations, mindful colouring books and so on. We already have a mindfully based exercise system called Yoga, but there is no way to capitalise on this. Hence we need a 'mindful workout'.
In mindfulness meditation a common practice is to count your breath and count to 10. And when else do you need to count to 10? When you are counting reps in the gym that's when. And mindfulness resistance training is now born. It has to be counting to 10, low reps such as 3 while deadlifting won't work. Also when deadlifting you are focusing on making sure your back doesn't explode. Same goes for olympic lifting. But bicep curls are perfect, 10 reps of focused curling, the ultimate mindfulness exercises.
The mindfulness workout can be applied to anything in the 8-12 rep range, isolation exercises are perfect. It used to be called bodybuilding but there is no way I can sell that to you or sell it to the female market.
Les Mills Mindful will be launched later this year combining pump, balance and mindful breathing/ counting.
Follow up your mindful workout with a beverage from the land of mindfulness and loving kindness meditation - that's right a Tibetan Tea.
3.Post Natal Exercise... for Men
F**k Dad Bod. You've been sitting at home pretending to help out with the new born, but mainly you seem to be drinking tea and eating the cake that everyone keeps bringing around. Aside from the quick hoover round and nappy change your calorie output is close to zero.
You have re-discovered daytime TV and have realised it hasn't changed since you were a student. It still consists of older greying men with younger female sidekicks (Pip Schofield and Holly Willbesomething, the bloke on Countdown who used to be on The Apprentice plus a younger female number counter, and even the Daily Politics Shows has Andrew Neil, who borrowed his hairstyle from Donald Trump, and a younger female Millbank side-kick to help him out).
It's time to do something before you start looking forward to the latest spring fashion slot on the Lorraine Show. You need to get fit. But where to begin? Post Natal Classes for men of course! Where you can all get fit in a mutually supportive environment with other men, no one will judge you for having baby vomit on your Nike Dri Fit wick-away top. Then afterwards you can have a coffee and discuss whether Andrew Neils hair is real, the misogynist nature of media, if Piers Morgan is actually a cyborg sent from the future to annoy us and if you drink Tibetan Tea( bulletproof monk tea) will you be able to fit in those skinny jeans for summer?
4.The rise and rise of online coaching, Vloggers, Instagram experts and apps
Somewhere in Shoreditch a woman in her early 20's is opening a Tibetan Tea cafe using start up money from her parents who live in Cambridgeshire. One day she is frothing up a Yaks Milk Latte for a customer and realises that someone may be interested in her flex-vegan Italian-paleo recipes.
She immediately rushes home and her housemate videos her making a pasta/ paleo mash up dinner. They link this to her house-mates own Youtube page, he is trying to carve out a niche playing banjo fuelled electro pop folk fusion. They put one of his tracks over the top of the video. Her other house mate works for a local PR company and is currently working on promoting locally sourced beard grooming products which he then mentions in their Vlog.
Before, she knows it, she has 20 million Instagram followers and a 10 book publishing deal. Even though she has no nutritional qualifications, is not a qualified chef and knows nothing about fitness she is soon on Daytime TV being interviewed about her weight-loss tips.
Meanwhile a Dad is sitting at home, while changing a nappy and eating a rocky road, he hears her mention Tibetan Tea. He then tells all his mates at the Mens Post Natal Class. Before you know it, Tibetan tea has gone viral and a Shoreditch resident opens up a series of Tibetan Tea shops, which she then sells to a hedge fund.
Her banjo playing friend ends up in a structured reality TV show and then realised his own fitness DVD. His debut album is released on itunes...
5.Steady State Cardio makes a comeback
The last few years we have had HIIT and Tabatas and WODs. And these are all hard. Recently Hybrid training has started it make an impact mainly due to Alex Viada. And it makes a lot of sense.
The next logical step is the rise of steady state cardio. Problem is, it is very hard to re-package and re-sell, even harder to base a PT session around someone going for a walks or doing 30 minutes on a bike at conversational pace.
Les Mills have covered most areas, lifting weights, combat sports, dance, spinning, old people, young people. But they haven't covered walking yet.
Enter Les Mills Walk and Talk. The easy workout you can do anywhere. Just download the app, and every month they update your walking play list, get out there and power away the fat with gut busting steady state tunes. Two of the tracks on the initial Les Mills Walk and Talk release are from a Banjo electro pop artist based in London.
Can't walk? Don't worry there is Les Mills Chair. A series of chair based exercises with the latest motivational music. We do, however, recommend that you buy the specially constructed Reebok Chair TM, if you are going to be doing this in a small group fitness environment.
6.Strongman training for all. Strong man/women classes
Powerlifting is so 2 dimensional, and crossfit, and who's got time to learn how to do a muscle up or a handstand walk?
But strongman, that is 3 dimensional training and you get to lift lots of cool things. Re-brand it has fat burning and glute sculpting and you've got a product.
Now you need some equipment. A company has already made a fitness specific tyre, and are charging £650 for something you can essentially pick up for free at your local tip. And someone has already got a piece of plastic, filled it with water and called it The Surge. So what can you do? Atlas stones, but we can do better, lets make it more primal. How about a rock. Yep, its a special rock, after all you can go and pick up a rock for free. But if you take that rock, paint it pink and call it Igneous Based Training System (IBTS), you've got a product.
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| A rock. But paint it pink, charge £200 for it and call it Igneous training and you've got a product. |
Or just do some strong man inspired training with the equipment you've already got, and reap the benefits.
7.Gluten will make a comeback
Could we all be wrong, could gluten be a superfood? A special type of gluten of course, it won't be found in a loaf of Hovis. Special artisan gluten supplements harvested from a South American plant.
Or anything could become the next superfood. Personally I'm hoping it will be cheddar cheese.
8.Super hero workout.
The new Star Wars is out. And the lead character happens to lift weights, kerching. Combine with the mindfulness trend and you've got the Jedi Workout that you don't have to live in a swamp to do. Replace Yoda with a weighted vest. Or even better, if someone at Disney marketing has got their head screwed on they will produce a Yoda weighted vest.
In the summer there will also be Batman v's Superman v's Banana Man v's SuperTed. Expect all these workouts to appear in Mens Health at some point.
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| Banana Man v Iron Man will start production this year. The banana man workout will appear in Mens Health. Image source www.bttm.co.uk |
9.Backwards running
We've had barefoot running, Hoka trainers, tough mudders and all that. Its time for backwards running to go mainstream. The easy way to avoid injuries.
Plus, you can't run backwards run on a normal treadmill, so someone will have to build a backwards running treadmill. Retail cost £15,000.
While we're at it, obstacle course racing needs to evolve. Yes, it could be run backwards or why not add a Krypton Factor element, where you have to build a 3D puzzle blindfold at the half way point.
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| The Krypton Factor. When obstacles and tracksuits were proper. Source: www.tvcream.co.uk |
10.Carb side loading
I have no idea. Its just a buzzword phrase. But carb back loading exists. I will figure out the details of the diet later. But trust me its going to be big.
11.Nano gyms
Space is at a premium, what's smaller than a micro gym? A nano gym of course. Combine this with a Tibetan tea bar franchise and you've got a business.
Well, there you go, these are my top predictions for 2016, lets see what becomes big. All ideas are trademarked, copyrighted and patent pending.
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